Destination Race

We have all heard of destination weddings. It is way to get to explore a new place with friends, meet some new people, experience something new and call it a vacation. Well, destination races is my version of this. A way to incorporate so much of what I love into one outing. My love of new places. My love of connecting with friends, playing outdoors, and exploring new terrain, be that deserts, woods, or in this case a mountain. I just got back from Black Mountain, North Carolina where I ran the Black Mountain Marathon.  And upon returning home I could not help but thinking... why have I not done this before?

Now to be honest, this was hands down the hardest run of my life. Perhaps, it was because I haven't  been training in the mountains. No matter what the climb is, in this case 2,800’, nothing in my current home state of Ohio compares. Maybe is was because I needed to train more, surely a possibility, but my recovery was quick and despite some tight calf muscles I have been feeling pretty awesome since a couple of hours after the race. My best guess was the terrain, it was on trail but the majority of the trail was rocky, and wet, so very precise steps were always necessary. There were only a few moments on the descent that I felt like I could really open up and allow gravity and my core to propel me down the mountain. My feet were definitely sore. Maybe the fact that it was so hard is exactly why I enjoyed it so much. I pushed myself, my body, my mind and I proved to myself that I could do it. Again. 

 I knew going in that my main goal was fast recovery. I was not only heading down to explore a new mountain and test my current endurance, but I was meeting up with an old friend and meeting a new one. They are both running the race, both in training mode for the Grand-2-Grand Ultra and both bad-ass. So given that this was also a reconnection outing, I wanted to be up for anything afterwards on race day, rather than fighting a dehydration headache and barely able to get off the floor. So, on that front I was hugely successful. Later that day, after much food and yogaing around the fantastic cabin we rented, I was feeling good. Skipping down the street good. Yes, that happened. 

Now Black Mountain is a great little town. I am a sucker for mountain towns and know in the future I will spend significant chunks of time in many more.  There were many places in Black Mountain, which is right outside of Asheville, that offer discounts to all the runners.  The Black Mountain Ale House whose owner helped organize the race 16 years ago, and who ran the 40 mile Challenge that day and was working - even offers runners their first drink on the house. Then there were the residents, who would be out on their porch offering the encouraging word and the occasional soundtrack. 

Plus, the people at the aid stations deserve an award. I mean, I felt compelled to put on a show as I approached each one with the amount of enthusiasm and support they were belting out. A huge Thank You, to anyone who volunteered. Some of them camping in frigid conditions the night before up on the mountain to make sure we would be taken care of. I mean... seriously awesome people. 

When it comes to time away... When it comes to how we each like to travel... My vote is for Destination Adventure. You not only get to check out for a few days, but you also are able to experience something truly unique about that specific locale. Keep it in mind next time you are heading anywhere, look into what events they going on that intrigue you. Yes, for me it most likely lies in some form of endurance test. Something I am glad that afterwards, as I look back I am able to love those moments when I thought... “do I really care if I make it to the finish line” or “why did I think this was a good idea, again?” Because at the end of the day, I did make it, and I know it was a good idea. How you may be wondering?... because I can not wait to do it again. 

What is that I hear... Frogs?

On the drive home tonight... I was led to think about the extraordinary. On the drive home I was waiting for it to rain frogs. At every stoplight. I was almost surprised when it didn't.

Yes, you heard me right. I was waiting for it to rain frogs. You know, like in that movie Magnolia. Here is a clip if you've never seen it.

Why would someone be driving home and anticipating this sort of encounter you MAY be asking yourself? I don't blame you. Really. I don't. But come on. Haven't you ever felt like some of your routines have become sort of... otherworldly?


There are those moments when you know there is something... there. Something behind those thoughts that keep arising. Those interest that don't settle. That feeling that you are approaching a cliff and the feeling in your core is saying to go for it...

You could choose to play it "safe" and turn around to what you know.

Or you could choose to just jump. Where you spend everyday doing those things that make you feel like THAT day was worth it. You are exhausted by it. In a good way. You gave it your all. And you got it all back.

I always encourage that. Always. And I try to live by it. To live each day so that I can go to bed exhausted. Exhausted because I have chosen to do the things that I love.

And I have enjoyed those I love. (I'll admit.. this is an excuse to blatantly show off my incredibly cute nieces and nephews)

Lucas and Isaiah!

Riley, Reece & Jaxson

You know the feeling. I hope. The feeling that the brink is near. You may be standing on the edge. Maybe all you need is a push. Or maybe, all you need... is for it to rain frogs.

Why I Run

Most people aren't into it... Let's be honest. On a daily basis almost everyone I interact with and the subject of running comes up (which to be frank, happens a lot) shake their head at me, a slight laugh as they all agree that I am crazy, they bond over their detest for running and joy of sitting as their preferred way to relax.

Amazing trail around Mt. Rainier. 

Not all,  some are intrigued by the fact that I want to run mile after mile, gaining distance year after year.  They usually at some time in the past ran themselves... it takes them back and they share their stories and I see that familiar smile and I LOVE talking to them.

But every once in awhile I get to talk to someone else who runs. They may run a few miles, they may be open to running farther. For me... lately... and for awhile, when I chat, I focus on footwear,  zero drop minimalistic footwear. I am into it, I am excited it, about all the new development and what I have deemed the race to the lightest. Then there is sharing trails, distances, the why's, the races and the partner stories. In the end, it is usually the best conversation of the day. I am left excited for my next run.

Cooling down during a run on the South Yuba Trail.

I have been a runner for almost 20 years. It is one of the first things I remember developing a preference for. I decided I wanted to run cross country in Jr. High so the year before I had my father design me a loop around the property.  He would encourage my running style and help me push myself. I didn't have the knowledge of nutrition at the time so side cramps were common and I learned to relax and breathe, to move through them.  At around 11 years old.

I don't really understand why I was drawn to it. As I grew up I would always joke that my running had little to do with physical health and more to do with mental health. I ran to "clear" my head. To keep me sane. Again as a teen ager I had not yet began to understand the mind-body connection. I really never focused on the part of health class where they tell you that physical activity releases endorphins. I still had not even heard of the concept of movement meditation. I just knew that I enjoyed it. That I ran because it served as an outlet for built up energy. That at the end of a run, I would FEEL better, calmer, more relaxed and happier.

Look at me. Being all happy and relaxed. 

During this time I wasn't necessarily pushing myself. Most of my runs were between 2-5 miles. And I have never stuck to a schedule. Over the years I have been fortunate enough to have met some great runners. My three best gal pals are runners. I have experienced "breakthrough" runs...by running with these women. By "breakthrough" runs, I mean I set out for a run... of my normal length with them and something about their pace and the energy far exceeded my expectations. Through those, I have raised the bar on my expectations of what I can do.  And it continues to grow.

What am I aiming for Now...

I am trying to stick to a schedule, going against my nature, but just trying to get out for decent distance 4-5 days a week with one long run on the weekend. I impulse bought a marathon a few months ago and that date is fast approaching, thank you Rebecca!  The Black Mountain Marathon is going to be challenging and.... oh so much fun! http://www.blackmountainmarathon.com ...I am glad I did it. It has helped me seek out other races to help train. The first "training" race was this past Saturday morning. The nice folks over at  www.topoadventuresports.org/topotrail.html offer some great mid-distance races over the winter months. My next is coming up on 2/9 over at Ceaser's Creek, which is my go-to trail of choice.

What's after that..? Well I am in the mind frame of "let's keep the ball rolling". I am interested to see how far I can go. I never regret going for a run. So building off the momentum of the marathon, I am looking into my first 50k. Luckily for me, there are a few great options for a spring 50k here in Ohio. Why? Well, why not? Running  has never been anything besides beneficial in my life. Very few things you can say that about. So I am going to continue. This is one of "my things" and we all have our own. It is why I run.

Why I Run.

What's in your Toolbox?

Expanding a past post, looking for ways to cultivate gratitude in seemingly undesirable circumstances by embracing the power of contrast. Diving further, deeper into understanding how to use this as a tool to figuring out what it is you want to manifest into your life by acknowledging, even appreciating, the discovery of what it is you do not want. I do believe we each have within us the power to change our situation, to create our most desired life.

That statement, is just... well it happens to be a huge statement. But it boils down to avoiding negative emotions. When something truly feels good, we know it. We know when we are following a passion, we know when we are serving ourselves and others. And on the flip side, we know when something feels simply bad, and it takes everything you have to just... get it done.  

That statement also brings up so many other notions; personal responsibility, learning to listen to our own intuition, focusing on what we do want - however large or small - to bring into our lives.  I was reminded of this today, as I drank my coffee and stumbled onto a post of someone I just became familiar with (more on that later) and once again I found the concept true and hearing it again useful. And it really got me thinking. 

What in our daily lives are we each doing to live our best life? Our happiest most fulfilled life? I started to take a look at my habits, my routines. I have recently moved and found that in my own space, I have become incredibly more disciplined. I currently have a lot on my plate, enough that is spills over (sometimes creating a mess) and their doesn't seem to be enough hours in the day to get everything done. So I have to pick favorites by prioritizing.

One of my favorite tools has become prioritizing. So useful and something any one that is busy is incredibly familiar with. So as I tick off my list of things that make me feel healthy, happy and whole, I realize that I can use each of these things to go to bed slightly more satisfied.  As we get to know ourselves, we are able to know how things affect us, which ideas and concepts we are drawn to, the things we enjoy and the places we want to go. All of this translates into useful tools we can call upon when we want to create something within us. 

What's in your toolbox?

___________________

Here is the article by Selena Soo who changed her life by her desire to avoid negative emotions, and now uses her strengths to help others change theirs.
www.s2-groupe.com/blog/

A Change of State

Almost two years ago, I found myself in a new spot. Even though I had become fairly adept at navigation… I was lost. I woke up one day, found myself in a heap of self-doubt, self-isolation and debt. I was on my way back to Ohio, to visit family for my nieces first birthday. I was already in a place where I knew I needed to slow down. I had been on the road continuously for a year and half and had been running at an ever-increasing rate for the last 6 months. Crossing the country from the Midwest to the west coast about 6 times during that time. My thoughts were that I would spend a week back in Ohio, and drive across country again, this time heading to Moab and stay put there for awhile. I had passed through that area a few times and thought it seemed as good a place as any for me to try on for a while. Unfortunately, or rather, fortunately, life had other plans.  What I thought was going to be another short visit, turned very quickly into something else.

To back up a moment, I woke up and realized I needed to slow down. To change my pace of searching to one of settled. I needed to reconnect to what I wanted and to be completely honest, to pay off that heap of debt that I had stumbled into. I had no idea what life back in Ohio would look like. I hadn’t lived here for more than 6 months at a time since my 3rd year at Ohio State. To put that in other terms, it had been about 10 years since I lived anywhere without having an exit strategy. I was used to going, to planning, I was used to movement. So feeling a little lost and disconnected maybe shouldn’t have been a surprise, but it was.  Because it meant that I had to look at things I thought I had known about myself. I had to look at the why’s of my decisions of that past couple of years and face some harsh realities. Like... Perhaps I have a tendency to grasp onto one idea and run with it, past the point of it working. I took to the road and ran it out.

So as I settled into my new life of being still. Words like structure became used in my language in a non-negative format. I began to realize that sometimes it can be a useful tool for giving yourself boundaries when you feel ungrounded. Now don’t get me wrong. I have never been a huge fan of words like restrictions or boundaries.  In the sense that I never want to feel as if I am living the type of life I do not want to live, that I am compromising myself. But recognizing the benefits of things, placing them in your toolbox to pull out whenever something needs a little adjusting is just another way to create more freedom in your life. Once you become aware of the usefulness of something, you now have the ability to use it whenever you see fit. To reconnect to those goals that ultimately are leading you to the life you want to live.

For me, that life involves being debt free. Being connected to my beautiful family. And ultimately to be completely location independent doing things I love.

So would my right now life be a surprise to the me of two and half years ago. You bet. But sometimes you may just need a change of state…

For The 10,000th Time

I know we have heard it. I have heard. Most likely you all have heard it too. That listening to what serves you most will not lead you astray.

Let me start here, with where this came from. With my writing, I have hesitated. I have gone through periods of self-doubt. That doubt would stem from wondering if what I was saying was original. It is a hard question to ask.  Because honestly, few (if any) creations are original, so I asked myself… Was I wanting to say anything that hasn’t been said before? The answer is almost unanimously no. Very few concepts, ideas, even if I have thought them for some time, have not been somehow influenced by someone I have met or something I read, so I would keep coming back to… are these thoughts necessary to share. Or have they already been put out there.

Honestly, Not likely. Necessary they are not. But I just spent the weekend at a workshop. Not a writers workshop, but a yoga workshop. And what happened during that first hour of the entire weekend was that I heard something inspiring. Was it a new concept, no. Even new to me, no. Did it still have an impact, Yes! So I started to think about this. For the entire weekend… so I wrote to a friend about the need for a constant reminder…

The mental block. How many times do you have to hear the same thing, intellectually believe the same thing, before you live it? Some lessons are not satisfied being learned once.  And then…  you have to acknowledge The Out. The notion that following your passion can mean you have to refocus everyday, because there will always be easy things… easy things that present themselves in such tempting ways. Which is ultimately ways to justify doing something else. The Out… there are so many.

…The night I return home, I stop by my sister and brother-in-laws’. They had made this delicious GF pizza and their children were being crazy lovey, so I stay. We are sitting there at dinner and Emily starts to talk about something she is reading, about how they are focusing on the idea of no longer compromising the life you want to have. That this book, this concept of leading your ideal life was really resonating. Her husband, Alan, and I just look at each other. I have to say it… “You mean the same thing we have been saying for years”

And it is true. You will hear things that sit really well with you. But if you hear them just once… there is a good chance the impact will fade. Even if intellectually you know them, the trouble lies with experientially knowing… living these ideas. And so I am going to continue to write, my take and my words. Because sometimes you need a different perspective. And sometimes… it takes 10,000 times. 

Bursting the Comfort Bubble...

Yes I know. It is all too easy to settle into a nice routine. You get comfortable and live to your means.  You are fine, things are proceeding smoothly, but it isn’t quite where you thought you would be. And it isn’t quite what you thought you would do.

Yes I know that thought when you actually get inspired by someone or  something, by yourself and your own dreams, that you think YES! I can. And there is a smile on your face and excitement in your blood. That inspiration came from something new. Something new that you allowed to happen.

…And then a week goes by. You kind of - sort of - stay at your job, you rationalize this dollar amount… this date… this criteria and then…then you will try this something new that will make you happy. 

…And then a month goes by. And all you can kind of – sort of – remember about that essence of inspiration is that it felt good.  Something about it felt light and fun, and maybe a little scary. You start to think less about it, taming your mind into being “realistic”… The more time that goes by, the easier it is to forget that rush, that excitement, that truth that we can do whatever we want... and we slip back - nice and easy - into our comfort zones.

Can you remember it now, in this moment, the last time you felt that flash of life zip through you and your excitement beaming through you and in that moment you felt fully yourself. And fully alive.  

Perhaps you can remember. Perhaps you followed and things went ideally. Perhaps they didn’t.

Honestly… either way… my response is, who cares. Now, lets do it again. And again. Why not? We are evolving beings and we need to step outside of are comfort zone on a continual basis. We need to promote self growth above stagnation. To be proactively alive rather than allowing our lives happen to us.

It is as easy as you want it to be. Or it can be drastic. Seriously, every time I try something new. Read a book with a new concept. Or fly a plane, increase my running mileage, attend a new workshop, or let a friend convince me it is best to get out of bed at 5 am to hike up a mountain... For the sole purpose that it REALLY is fun to run down it! I am always left better, more open and with a better understanding of what I am capable of!

Zorbing! - maybe stepping out of your bubble will lead you into another one. If you find yourself on the North Island of New Zealand please try this!!

As a friend states during most of our conversations... "Make It Happen".   As you approach that comfortable edge, you can feel it. When we burst that comfort bubble we are open to new perspectives. And I will be honest. It is fun. 

To Thine Own Self Be True

Running through the woods today. Aware that the birds have left. The leaves no longer rustle.
The only thought that rings through. “To thine own self, be true”. –Shakespeare


I was introduced to this piece of writing about 7 years ago. I have read it so many times over the years. And it is currently on my wall. Handwritten from another.

The Invitation

Oriah Mountain Dreamer


It doesn't interest me what you do for a living
I want to know what you ache for
and if you dare to dream of meeting your heart's longing.

It doesn't interest me how old you are
I want to know if you will risk looking like a fool
for love
for your dreams
for the adventure of being alive.

It doesn't interest me what planets are squaring your moon...
I want to know if you have touched the center of your own sorrow
if you have been opened by life's betrayals
or have become shrivelled and closed
from fear of further pain.

I want to know if you can sit with pain
mine or your own
without moving to hide it
or fade it
or fix it.

I want to know if you can be with joy
mine or your own
if you can dance with wildness
and let the ecstasy fill you to the tips of your
fingers and toes
without cautioning us to
be careful
be realistic
to remember the limitations of being human.

It doesn't interest me if the story you are telling me
is true.
I want to know if you can
disappoint another
to be true to yourself.


If you can bear the accusation of betrayal
and not betray your own soul.
If you can be faithless
and therefore trustworthy.


I want to know if you can see Beauty
even when it is not pretty
every day.
And if you can source your own life
from its presence.

I want to know if you can live with failure
yours and mine
and still stand on the edge of the lake
and shout to the silver of the full moon,
"Yes."

It doesn't interest me
to know where you live or how much money you have.
I want to know if you can get up
after a night of grief and despair
weary and bruised to the bone
and do what needs to be done
to feed the children.

It doesn't interest me who you know
or how you came to be here.
I want to know if you will stand
in the center of the fire
with me
and not shrink back.

It doesn't interest me where or what or with whom
you have studied.
I want to know what sustains you
from the inside
when all else falls away.


I want to know if you can be alone
with yourself
and if you truly like the company you keep
in the empty moments.







And of all the lines, the one that stands out the most to me… now…. And again… “If you can be faithless. And therefore… Trustworthy.”


Can you be aware of you choices? That wherever you are, it is a choice. That we are each choosing our situation. Sometimes… It definitely feels externally enforced. I know that… society, family, life, the situation, the position… But ultimately it is our decision to rise to the occasion. To say yes, I am here. Or not to. We are responsible. So you can trust that I am here because I want to be. Not because I am obliged to be. So therefore… I am trustworthy.

Shades of Green

So this is a reflection on a previous article. That post “Is That Grass Greener” being written over a year ago – I did still want to share it – as most of you could tell, you know.. by my posting it. So it was a long minute ago when I first wrote it. And I suppose I haven’t expanded on the idea because I am still wrapping my head around my current thought process. I am working on it, daily, trying to blend views, trying to reword and sort out how one can take advantage of a frame of mind that has a negative connotation, and turn it into a useful tool for living fully… I have to admit that however much I may have liked how I wrote the previous post, I may not 100% agree with what I wrote.

To start, let me say that cultivating gratitude on a daily basis is such a beautiful and rewarding practice. I know this, I have seen the magic of it, the transformations that can come when someone shifts their view from one of lack to one of abundance. From the victim to the heroine.  I adamantly respect the process of becoming proactive in how your life unfolds.

That being said, emotions are important. I have always thought so. Good emotions are so easy to except. However, I  strongly feel that negative emotions have their role. On some occasions, negative emotions can be a great indicator that we need to make a change. But that should be it?! Make the change, realize that you should be happy, and let the past go. Life should not be a struggle. 

I know that sounds great. For me, I am totally on board. When something does not feel quite right – When you are not excited about life. Check- got it – make a change. No problem. I should be happy. Hell yeah I should. We all should. We all can be.. Ok check. Now let go…hmm… For me this is where the challenge arises. As it probably does with most people. So once again… I have to remind myself… 

“The grass is greenest where your awareness is directed most.”

                                             -Amber Spear (Yoga instructor)

So as we work out the shades of green… as we all give our input as to where our awareness is focused.  Where we are letting our hearts settle. Let us keep in mind that we can be, create and do whatever…. So why not?

Vulnerability... And the strength that lies therein.

“If you persistently seek validation from others, you will inadvertently invalidate your own self-worth.”

                                                      -Dodinsky

Self-validation begins with being open to vulnerability.  Finding courage through your own inner strength. I think I have decided its time for me to become vulnerable. Time to create the life I want to live. In order to do that, you have to go after it… whole-heartedly.  

A few years ago a friend of mine was about to purchase land, start building a home, start an organic farm and continue to build this with someone she had known for less than a year. This particular gal, that I have been fortunate enough to know for the past 5 years, is the sort of gal that doesn’t dip her toe in first. My intuition tells me she has always been a whole-hearted person.  Jumping in to whatever she does fully. When they first started looking at land, and discussing this whole joint operation, I remember her pulling me aside at work one day, excited, to tell me about it. I remember being awe-struck. Here she was embracing the vulnerability of going after a dream. Unsure of the ending, even unsure of the beginning, but taking that first step to the life she knew she wanted. 

For years, I have repeated what I realized when I saw her in action. It takes courage to go after your dreams. Whatever they are.  And to manifest the life you want, you have to be okay with the unknown, trust yourself, and be okay with the idea of failure.

“What you are is what you have been. What you’ll be is what you do now.”

                                                      -Buddha

So what is this life I want. Well like my friend, I am a bit unsure of the beginning. What I have used as an excuse for too long is the dilemma of the “it”. Whole-Heartedly going after “it” would be so much easier if “It” was clearly laid out. But you have to start somewhere. So over the next few months I am going to be writing and sharing, simply put…about my interests. I would love to be able to say… my interest is this ______. Then everything would fit nicely into it. I mean, I have seen a path forming constantly in front of me, I have become more and more aware of the interest that have stuck around and that have become passions. I thought at one point they would all come together to fit into that nice package. So I could just present it, myself, with a ribbon and just say … here you go.

When I started writing about my experiences, I wanted to use this as my travel guide. For those that may like to travel like me. It was about sharing my style of exploration. As I have remained grounded in one spot over the last year, I found that there are so many thoughts I want to share, and my exploration has turned inwards. I want to explore the boundaries of optimal health, endurance and community. So, I am going to.

A Bold Experiment begins. 

Is that Grass Greener?

Why is the grass always greener? Or better yet, is it? If you are one of those people that realize the beauty in what you had – post having it, are you doomed to never being happy in the present?

As one of those people, I prefer to think of it as a constant re-evaluation of your self. Often enough those affirmations of the past are usually me recognizing that my current self isn’t exactly who my old self thought I was. For some reason holding onto out-dated convictions is a hard thing to let go of.  At just shy of 29 I am looking at all of those absolute statements I have made of myself, my likes, my dislikes and trying to see what still fits and what I need to let go of. It turns out, it would be easier to let go of them all and start over. Fresh.

Easier said than done.

So, is it that we all want to jump the fence? Or are we just becoming better acquainted with ourselves? And if that is true, for me, for you, what is the point in preferences at all? If I can look back at the last 10 years of my life and already see so much change in who I thought I was, how am I going to form ideas of what I will like, and be like in the future?

Maybe preferences have there space in the here and now. Perhaps it is as short as… today I would like coffee, without the notion of tomorrow at all… And that’s it. What suits me in this moment? 

Because the only thing I can deduct from staring out over yonder, is that I really have no idea if I will even like grass at all when I get over there.

A Strange Encounter - previously mentioned Lazy Lizard Hostel - Moab, Utah... Feb. 2011

So I walk into the co-ed bunk last night. Set my stuff down and set out to make an amazing dinner of rice and carrots and celery and beans and tomatoes and lettuce and avo and hot sauce and asiago cheese and ceasar dressing all wrapped up in these wonderful locally made wraps*.

*that I purchased when I immediately found the health food store when I came into town, and it was open for another 30 minutes

Anyway.. I made my dinner and head up to the room. I sit on the bed and there is one other man in the room. I am feeling good and being friendly. He does appear to be homeless (I use -less because it doesn't necessarily seem to be by choice). We start chatting and very quickly, we start talking about crazy stories and sleeping outside. The stories roll out with locations all over the place, with people popping in. Then astrology starts popping in. He used to read charts. I happen to have mine so he takes a look. Talks of being aware of deception, making special note of self-deception. Talks of being trouble-makers.. but that since I have so much Jupiter influence that I can probably get away with it.

Then he asks if he can give me a card reading. And so he does. It is interesting. It mentions a lot of a significant other. But in no way does it describe anyone close. It said I made a bad choice, to watch out for male chauvinism, someone wanting to control me and so on. It was strange. And we talked about it for awhile. I need to watch out for bossiness, in me or in those close to me for the next 6 months. My intuition is going to be failing me for the next few weeks, I will have trouble connecting with my inner self.

His name was Charles.

Very soon after I discovered I had walked into the wrong room.

The Beauty of Contrast

I hear it all the time, as I'm sure most people do.... It always starts the same "I don't need much.... " followed by any number of open, vague endings like "I just want to be happy."  Or "I just want to be treated well."  Or "I just want enough money to get by".  But why do we always feel the need to settle for "just" anything.  Let's face it, most of us have a long life ahead of us, so why did we let go of the child-like belief that we could do anything?  When did we start negotiating with ourselves? When did we start accepting whatever we could get? It's like we were given a huge check as a child and every year as we struggle with what it is we really want out of life, are the options so over-whelming, that we willingly - perhaps begrudgingly - erase a zero?

This I believe goes hand and hand with the fact that we can no longer figure out what it is we want in life.  We seemingly have every opportunity in the world open to us and, not to sound spoiled, that is a daunting reality.  And true, we all know those people, the ones that picked a direction, made a decision and followed a passion from an extremely young age.  I have caught myself saying over and over again that I was jealous of those that knew what they wanted. All I could and sometimes... can...  still think about is how much easier it would be, to be one of those people. It is just a matter of making a decision, a choice that at some point sets you down a specific path. A choice and a commitment, through thick or thin of seeing it through.  Yeah, following that path may seem easier, most likely only when you are struggling with the other side, the side of limitless options. The grass is always greener.

Given an open book, what story do we each want to write? How do we start to figure it out, is narrowing down the possibilities really that poor of a choice? What is so wrong about taking the other road? The one where you let experience be your guide, you learn what you don't want through trial and yes, error. Error, the part that takes the most mental energy is not deciding what to do next, although the narrowing down process can take quite awhile. No the hardest part is learning to appreciate the mistakes. To take the opportunity to learn more about yourself. To begin to understand the beauty of contrast.

Building a base..

Building a base.... It may just be my positive spin, my jubilant outlook, on the fact that I have not felt like running, or running far that is, what I so loved last year, disappearing for hours "out". So rather, I am running fast, and frequently.  For a week at my last house-sitting home, I ran 3.6 miles 3 out of 4 days.  I was faster than I thought, finishing around 29 minutes each time, and yes that felt good. Day after day, just getting out. But that is the thing, just getting out didn't always feel like such a decision. And I know just around the corner, is another home, another place, another trail or person that will inspire and uplift, and I will be floating out the door. But until then, in my new home, my current house-sit, I will run a few miles on the roads, BLM or paved, to overlooks or stop signs. I even took my bike out today, a short ride of 7-10 miles, but the sunshine was just torturing me and beat the urge I have had to stay indoors, to finish off whatever this funk is that I am in. Besides, it is building a base from which to grow, and on cool barely spring days, Tom Robbins' is great company.

Go with the Flow

Meanwhile, back in Moab...

Before I knew it, it was after 1. I figured my plans might be changing, how many miles was I expecting to get in before I was done driving for the day, keep in mind I'm not the biggest fan of driving at night. Phoenix was looking farther and farther away (I was on my way to help out at the Pemperton 50K - www.pemberton50k.blogspot.com). So I decided Flagstaff was far enough, and I always wanted to check it out anyway. I took a scenic route Hwy 163 through southern Utah.. Wow. The canyonlands.

So I arrived in Flagstaff and bunked at another hostel, the Grand Canyon Hostel (www.grandcanyonhostel.com ). It was more than the $9.80 I paid the night before at the Lazy Lizard, but for an additional $8 it does include coffee and oatmeal and fruit in the morning. It was clean and nice, plus the freezing temperatures at night were keeping me indoors. That night, as I sat on my computer, mapquesting thrift stores, health food stores (New Frontiers Natural Market), a bike shop and my route further south, a man walks by. He stops in the doorway to the dining area where there was a few of us computing away and said "can you imagine there used to be a time before computers'?" and walks away. Honestly, the statement bothered me, but only because I got his point. Even I can remember staying at hostels, traveling around, openly - no plan in sight, no computer attached to my fingertips. Rather than living remotely, through my computer. I got it. I did. It didn't change anything. I finished my online stint and went to chat with my roommate, before heading to bed.

The view

The next morning was delightful. I even indulged in a cup of coffee, something I hadn't drank in awhile. Sitting around the table, chatting as others' came and went. I ended up having a great time, and sat there for hours. The man that had walked by the night before was an explorer himself. A German, he had spent many years wandering around the Canyonlands. We bonded over the difficulty of finding other's on a similar journey... and even us, noted that we had an agenda, I was on my way to volunteer at a trail race, he was headed back up to the Utah border, towards his home away from home at the doorway to Glan Canyon National Recreation Area. Everyone had a plan. But as stories were traded, and options were thrown out, rides offered and new friends made.. a few people changed their "plans" for the day. Including me, I was still heading south, still intending to spend the night in the park where the race was going to be held, but I was convinced to take the slower route. True, I am not a hard sell when it comes to traveling slower, especially when that winds me down, down, down from Flagstaff and to Sedona.. oh sweet Sedona. 

Bell Rock

Then I heard tale of the Bell Rock Trail (which is part Bell Rock trail and part Courthouse Butte loop), just south of Sedona, in the Coconino National Forest. A beautiful, 5 mile loop around this huge red rock. And it was pure niceness, wearing my five fingers and floating through the desert, I was hot in long tights and a talk top and loving the sun! Once finished, smile on my face, Yonder Mountain String Band playing on my radio as I stretched and danced in the parking lot, I realized 5 miles just wasn't long enough, I was feeding off the sun and had energy to spare. Luckily I was heading towards more trails and inspiring runners'.  And even though I still headed south, still spent the night near McDowell Mtn. Regional Park, I was glad I had listened, that I had took the advice of those that knew and spent the afternoon being sun-kissed at Bell Rock. Yeah, I am glad I was able to be flexible and to just go with the flow. And that isn't that hard, once you find it.

The trail

Breakfast Nook

After spending a night in Stella, tucked up right off Hwy 1 in the southern most boundary of Los Padres National Forest along the Big Sur coastline, I continued north.

Stella

Now, let me just take a minute to talk of my makeshift bedroom. Parked facing a beautiful redwood, I recognize quickly that it is the same place I slept in another car, on another trip over a year ago. This bedroom comes equipped with a nice, quieting distance from the road, trailheads as a hallway and as the extended wing about about 100 yards away.

The view

Anyway, as I roll out of bed, early, cold. I decide to post-pone my run for later in the day when I can not only stretch my legs but can also bask in the California sunshine. I drive north for about an hour, and find a nice pull-out along the ocean to stop and make breakfast. I heat up some water, make my tea and oatmeal and sit on the edge, staring out at my first love. After some time, already cleaning up my dishes and just doing what I do, not rush, I hear this noise from way out in the water, I look out trying to locate its source. Soon another one comes and I see the water spouting from a large body rolling under the water. And another, and another. The water keeps shooting up and I am trying to track the whales movement in the water, trying to get a better, clearer look. My first encounter, and I welcome the company!

This goes on for another hour or so, I just can't tear myself away from my breakfast company. In my beautiful home, dining, relaxing in my breakfast nook.

A New Frontier: the continual exploration of Lithia Park

There is something about the idea of coming home.  Something comforting, reassuring and the concept instills a sense of confidence in me. Now, home is a relative word when staying somewhere for more than a few weeks is rare. However, I do find myself continually inspired by Ashland.  I have spent the longest period of time since leaving my last home in Whitefish, MT. in and near Ashland. In my mind, after being away for awhile, I convince myself that I had glamorized it, placed this dear town on a pedestal and am just waiting for it to fall.  And today again, I am reminded why it is so great. Not only is there a magnificent food co-op, that I stop in at at least once day when I am here, nor is it just because I know right out of town, there are great places to sleep (for those of you who enjoy the nomadic lifestyle and live, like me, out of your car most of the time), and even a hostel in town (www.theashlandhostel.com). It also carries the energy of an amazing running community, everywhere you look you can see the active lifestyle, and the running store Rogue Valley Runners is an easy quick stop for motivation just walking in (today I biked there, soaked up the easy running flow, and headed to Lithia), but there is also the fact that within minutes of downtown you can disappear into Lithia Park.

After being on the road since I left here in December, moving along, staying for a few days in most places and a couple weeks in others', I find myself back up in southern Oregon for a month of housesitting. In between gigs, I have made a point to come in from the beautiful isolation of rural Oregon, to the bustling metropolis of Ashland. Even with a population under 30k, it seems busy to someone who spends most of her time alone, traveling in my car Stella. And the idea of coming back to a place where I know a few people and I know how to get around is appealing, comforting even. But, the idea of coming back to a place where I know the trails.... well that is just pure excitement.

So, yesterday, my first full day here in Ashland, I bust out my shiny Lithia Park trail map and decide to really try to connect some of the dots. I know sections, I know specific trails and how they meet up with FS RD 2060, which is the road the bulk of the Lithia Loop Trail Marathon  (www.roguevalleyrunners.com/LLTM/index.html) is ran on. My first marathon, so I will always be sentimental about it. Yesterday, I decide to find a trailhead located on the map and see how you can jump on the trails White Rabbit and all the connections you can make from there to other trails. These other trails have such great names like Cheshire Cat, Queen of Hearts, Caterpillar, ToothPick, etc.. The names are not deceiving, you possibly have jumped through a looking glass, and after mile after mile of uphill, when you finally get loose, and you feel light, and the core muscles start carrying you gracefully over the rolling hills, and let you open up and fly on the descents... you know you are somewhere else.

And the last two days have been fantastic. I connected quite a few dots, I have found new trails, long runnable trails where you forget everything and are just there, reacting to the earth as you dance over it.  I am not sure how far I have ran. It is slightly irrelevant in my world right now. Knowing the distances can be gratifying it's true, and can serve as motivation if you are lacking it. But I have finally over the last month, fell back -  head over heels in love with running, the shear joy of moving, when you get to that space beyond the heaviness, beyond all the why not's, when your body and mind blend and your primal instincts kick in and your senses heightened. I love rushing through the trees, the Manzanitas and the Madrones, hearing Lithia Creek rushing way down below, and knowing that I will be able to find my way back out.  Because, like I said, I did connect those dots, and the dots will allow me to explore further, farther the next time, confidently. Exploring... there will always be a new frontier.

The why's: and an intro to Utah's red lustre

To start off this blog... I want to touch upon some of the past couple of years on the road. My goal is to share the sweet spots, and since I have encountered quite a few on my continuous road trip, I am going to take a trip down memory lane, reliving great places and times and share a bit about them. The trails, the health food stores, the communities, that make nomadic living great. 


In no sensical order I am going to start with a current trip from Colorado to Moab. Seems right.

The day of February 10th began with a run of 4.2 miles in Arches National Park, just ouside of Moab, amazingly beautiful slickrock, snow and ice to the double O arches. Gliding over the red rock, carefully placing one foot in front of the other, ecstatic I didn't let the cold wind deter my decision to run.  I slightly slip a few times, luckily getting my footing back before the impending fall. Arches National Park is a network of relatively short trails that will explore an area like no other. Enough climbing available to provide you with some sweet views of the La Sal peaks in the distance, and the massive amounts of space, canyons, and mounds of beautiful red earth surrounding you. 


I had spent the day before traveling from the deep winter of the high rockies in Colorado to Moab. Right as I am entering town, dark by then, I instantly look to my left at an intersection and spot the health food store of Moab. I stop, and have 30 minutes to shop around for delicious snacks at Moonflower Market before searching for the hostel.  After driving around a bit in the dark, I stop to call for directions and with some assistance from the the nice hostel employees, I get there relatively quickly. Spending a night in the Lazy Lizard Hostel ( www.lazylizardhostel.com ), utilizing their kitchen, and having a great random encounter with a tarot reading stranger, rested, I packed up, headed out, ran around that beautiful park and start moving south!